WASHINGTON, D.C.—A Bible arms race has kicked off between several politicians, as President Trump, Nancy Pelosi, and Governor Cuomo all held press conferences holding up Bibles and sometimes even reading from them.
But Trump, not wanting to be outdone, unveiled the latest shot in the Bible-off: a massive, 30-foot-tall Bible, proudly displayed hanging off a crane.
“This is a Christian nation, last time I checked,” Trump said as the Bible was unveiled in a solemn ceremony in front of the White House. “Biggest Bible, maybe ever. I’d love to see Nervous Nancy top this!”
After standing solemnly in front of the massive, dangling Bible for a few moments for a photo op, Trump returned to the Oval Office and had the Bible donated to “one of those church things.”
Pelosi wanted to retaliate but was still recovering in a hospital burn ward from the last time she touched a Bible.